Central Market (Stoltzfus Baked Goods) - Shoo Fly Pie

I have been wanting to start reviews on Central Market stands for a while. Mostly I stick to 3 or 4 main stands for lunch - Saif's, The Goodie Shoppe, S. Clyde Weaver, and the Thai place (whose name is not Lemon Grass, but is apparently run by the Lemon Grass people - I forget the name). Aside from the occasional stop at another stand here or there for produce, raw milk, or spices, my Central Market visits are quick and to the point. Now that I've started this blog, however, its time for me to break out of that set routine and really explore some of the other stands that I usually rush past on my way to get a falafel sandwich. Where do I start? How about with one of the most quintessential Lancaster County/Pennsylvania Dutch offerings ever - The Shoo Fly Pie.

I have not had Shoo Fly pie since I was a kid.
When I was a kid, I hated it.
20+ years later? ...well...

Mr. Sticky's Homemade Sticky Buns (and cinnamon rolls)

It all started with a routine visit to the vet for our new puppy, Montoya. This guy. The good news is - he's fine. The better news is- What's this trailer selling sticky buns? OH MY GOD THEY ARE DELICIOUS.

Located in the parking lot of Lancaster Harley-Davidson (which is too big of a parking lot for Lancaster Harley-Davidson, by the way... how many bikers do they expect in one day?) - if you blink or turn your head you'll miss it - a white, unassuming trailer, that looks like some long gone carnival remnant who forgot to pack up and leave after all the carnies had drifted to the next town.  I had my reservations; however, Mr. Sticky's took exactly 15 seconds (or however long it took to shovel the second deliciously gooey bite into my mouth) to win me over and become my new go-to place for cavities and heart-attacks. I can't wait to have so many cavities and heart attacks!*
Let me explain... 

The Park City Diner Will Never Open**

What does it take to open a restaurant? First you need a place to put the restaurant, then you need restaurant things (ovens, grills, seats, you know... stuff) and then maybe you need a competent staff to cook and serve the food. How long does this take? Is there a step that I am missing? Is there a reason that this process would take TWO YEARS?

The reason I ask is because the Park City Diner*, has remained an empty shell of promise for such an extended period of time (I think two years is low-balling it a little bit) that I am starting to think that its all just an elaborate prank and there was never really going to be a Park City Diner in the first place. HAHAHAHAH!!! get it?!?!? Oh man, Park City Diner people... you got me good.


I might be the only person who cares. I've looked into it. I've asked questions, and I've been flat out LIED TO for months, YEARS now. Its ridiculous. I am addressing this situation now, because apparently no one else will. If there is one thing I would like this blog to be remembered for when space aliens find it buried in the dirt 100 million years from now, is that Let's Eat Lancaster asked the tough questions and got things done (more likely though, the aliens will just think 'Wow, this guy really liked hot dogs').

Here now is my tale of hunger, anticipation, and madness. Please enjoy.

How I Spent My Blogger Vacation

 Yeah... No. (image credit: unkown)

I write this blog because 1) I like to eat. 2) I like to write. 3) I think there are enough hidden (and not so hidden) treasures around Lancaster that warrant a spotlight every now and then. However, until I start getting MAD PAID or MAD FED from doing this blog, we'll all just have to sit tight and wait with baited breath for my next big review because sometimes life gives you lemons and then overdraws your bank accounts, wrecks your car and nearly throws you in jail. UGH. I will make no excuses for my recent month long hiatus, but if you really want to know, here are a few excuses.

Sertoma Chicken BBQ

 The Sertoma Club has been hosting "The World's Largest Chicken BBQ" at Long's Park in Lancaster for 57 years. Am I alone in not knowing anything else at all about the Sertoma Club? This is it right? I only hear their name once a year and its always in conjunction with a chicken barbecue. In fact, I can't think of a chicken barbecue anywhere ever without also thinking about the Sertoma Club. So I guess, if their goal was to create a legacy of barbecued chicken, congratulations Sertomans, you've done it! Now, I'm sure they are a wonderful organization that does many great things, and I am just too lazy to find out what, all I'm saying is: Sertoma. Chicken. Barbecue.

Gelato Di Babbo - Assorted Gelato Flavors

photo taken from Gelato Di Babbo's Facebook profile. Credit: unknown

Recently I had some ice cream again, and it was the first time in a very long time. If you scroll down one review (after you've read this review of course) you can read all about it. You can also read in that review how before that fateful day, I wasn't crazy about ice cream. I won't tell you everything here but (SPOILER ALERT):
It was pretty damn good.
That day made me into a person who will now go get ice cream every once in a while (quite an accomplishment). So, now that I've upgraded ice cream from a "sell" to a "do not buy" (nerdy reference for the Arrested Development superfans, sorry), I was ready to go ultra-premium with my new found interest in frozen delights.

This led me to Lititz; to a place called Gelato Di Babbo...

Carmen & David's - Butter Brickle Ice Cream

I am not ice cream's biggest fan. I rarely "seek it out" and you will never see me curled up around a pint of Ben & Jerry's getting teary-eyed while watching The Notebook. For me ice cream, like chocolate, is on my "very rarely" list. I might get a craving one day but then not again for like a month or so. This is why it took me so long to set foot inside Carmen and David's. Its not that I don't enjoy ice cream...I do. And its not that I had anything against Carmen & David's...I don't. I just never really found myself "in the mood". I decided to change that a few weeks ago and just said "Damn it all, I am going to get some ice cream!" That's really what happened: I yelled that out the window (well maybe I didn't yell, and maybe it wasn't out the window, but I did think it very loudly inside my head).

Rock Hill Tavern - Roast Beef Sandwich

The first time I ever went to Rock Hill Tavern, I was like 5 years old and I was with my father on one of his "outings". It was the first "bar" I had ever been inside of. I didn't know what it was, or why I couldn't also drink what my dad was drinking. I don't remember much, I remember it being very dark, and I remember Moosehead beer. It was all very boring to me, at 5 years of age... like standing in line at the bank, this was an adult place, with adult drinks. I just wanted to play with Transformers.
Such was my impression of bars for many years thereafter. Dark and boring. Thankfully, I do not still feel this way, AT ALL...  Some might even say that now, I am in a bar too much, but I say "get off my back Dr. Intervention, I need a drink." But whatever... anyway...
I never make it back to Rock Hill Tavern very much, as it is a little too out of the way for a city boy like myself, but they've got one thing that I just can't stop thinking about, and what keeps me yearning for a quick trip out of the city day after day, week after week..
THE ROAST BEEF SANDWICH.

Lizard Lounge Kitchen - Bacon Cheddar Burger / Mozzarella Sticks

Full disclosure - I work for the Chameleon Club/Lizard Lounge... However, my reviews here are not in any way endorsed, sponsored or influenced in any way by that fact... What I mean is, I'm not getting any sort of kickback for giving something a positive review, and as far as I know, reviewing the menu is not in any way jeopardizing my employment there. If I give something a positive review it means that I really did enjoy it, if its a negative review, well.. hopefully I was right about all of this "not jeopardizing my employment" stuff... My opinions on the food served there are just that - MY opinions. You can do with them what you wish...  I am merely eating and writing about it (like I'm doing all over this town) it just so happens that now, it's from a place where I also get paid sometimes.
That said, I feel as though I need to mention, that you should all visit the Chameleon Club and the Lizard Lounge, "With its 10,000 sq ft divided into three floors, and seven bars, (and now a kitchen!) it is a convenient venue for area music fans to see their favorite artists in an intimate setting." (and the DJ on Tuesday nights is the best!)

KFC - Double Down - Double UGH.

I decided long ago (February... of this year) that this blog was not going to be used to promote fast food chains.
They do a pretty good job of that themselves. I am not going to bore you with facts and statistics about how bad for you fast food is. You know all of that. You also know how delicious and cheap it is, and when you are in a hurry because you are late for your 3:30 nap, you just need a quick stop at Arby's first for a French Dip sandwich, and maybe some curly fries. We all know that. These are everyone's problems. In any case, I don't want to shill for these corporate monsters. I'm not their hype man. Its called Let's Eat LANCASTER not Let's Eat Corporate America.
The problem is that sometimes those corporate monsters create something that cannot be ignored. Usually, its a new mobile telephone or other electronic device (BOOOORRRING!!!), but sometimes, its a tasty new way to have a heart attack.

La Cocina - Stewed Goat

I would like to (sort of briefly) address some of the controversy that got stirred up on the Let's Eat Lancaster facebook fan page (a facebook fanpage for a blog?... is there such a thing as "too much internet"? because I think we're cresting that chasm.. oh well). It seems that the idea of me going to an unfamiliar (to me) restaurant and ordering an unfamiliar (to some) dish was cause for concern. Why goat? One reader actually tried to curse my experience by hoping that the meal "sucked" and I would not be able to recommend "this awful place".
(Ironically enough, it was this same reader who's initial confusion of  La Cocina vs. Cocina Mexicana was what alerted me to a place serving goat in town in the first place... so... thanks for the tip, Laurie!)

Penn Manor High School - School lunch

A few weeks ago I was asked by a former teacher of mine to come back to high school to speak for career day. In addition to this food blog, I am also a "pro" (in the sense that I get paid to do it) DJ, weddings, bars, parties, etc. and for years I have been marketing myself and doing my best to avoid adult responsibility. It has become, over the years, a fairly lucrative way to make a living, now if only I was a little better at saving money... 
So I was asked to participate in Career Day at Penn Manor High School, a place I have not been since 1996. Weird. Immediately after my class graduated, the school began an extensive MEGA renovation, and now everything is different and insane. I won't get into the details of my return, how it was SO different from what I remembered it to be, or how I was having Vietnam like flashbacks of places that were slightly familiar to me... and I won't get into the discussions that I had with the kids. I will not bore you with these details. Not here, not now.  I will simply say that, I think it went really well. 


After it was over (the three 40 minute blocks of time allotted to me to speak to each group of students) I was pretty hungry and it was lunch time. Did I also mention that I had to wake up at 6:30AM and I have not seen that time on a clock for, oh, I don't know, 6 or 7 years... yuck. So, by 11:30am, I was ready for some lunch. So I snuck down to the cafeteria, I think by this point most of the more "official" career day speakers had packed up and left for the day, not me, though... no way. 

Cocina Mexicana - Pepinos, Flautas, Chorizo tacos

 

Cocina Mexicana. A tiny restaurant, very unassuming, and if you blink you miss it, on Prince street across from Stan's Records. I've been going there for years now, and I love it. The thing about Cocina is that its authentic Mexican food. Authentic to one region of Mexico, in particular, or so I am told, it seems like a legitimate claim, and regardless, their food is delicious, I can't wait to eat more of it.
Normally when I go, I get the same variation of things, pepinos, chorizo taco, the end. I've had some other things on the menu over the years, but nothing keeps me coming back like these two things. Let's talk about them...

Dan The Man BBQ - BBQ Brisket Platter

I was a vegan for years. No animal ANYTHING. I didn't even use honey or beeswax. I held on pretty strong to those convictions for a very long time, but alas, my grandmother was right when she said "Its just a phase". I suppose it was, just a big 8 year phase. I won't get into why I was vegan in the first place, or what it was exactly that made me change my mind (it all started with one single jelly bean). I will, however, say this:


I am not vegan anymore, and it is awesome. 


Its awesome because I can walk into a place like Dan The Man BBQ, order the beef brisket platter (with collard greens and yams), and I can eat it. All of it. And holy crap, its delicious. 

Hot Diggity Dog - The Buffalo Dog

Blue Cheese Dressing. Texas Pete's Hot Sauce.

I have a long history of being a total baby when it comes to spicy food. Hot sauce is not really my "thing" so it was with this dog (and about 4 others on the menu) that I had a considerable amount of apprehension. I don't eat Buffalo wings too often, and if I do I prefer them to be extra mild...  I used to eat them though, so I can appreciate what they are trying to do here with this - The Buffalo Dog.

Hot Diggity Dog - The Albuquerque Dog

Chili, cheddar cheese, jalapenos, hot salsa, crushed tortilla chips

I really don’t deal well with spicy food. I can handle a little bit of heat sure, but on a scale of 1-10, I try to stick closer to 1 or 2… It hasn’t always been this way, there was a time I can remember in my life where I was eating hot wings indiscriminately, and actually preferred them to be cooked as if cast in the fires of hell. “The hotter the better” I thought then, but not now… So what went wrong? When did all of this change? I don’t know exactly, but I do know that now, I am spice’s bitch, and we’ve been trying to avoid contact with one another for a while now.

So why ON EARTH would I ever get the Albuquerque dog from Hot Diggity Dog? A torturous monster of hot salsa, jalapenos, and hate. Why would I challenge something that I KNEW was going to best me? Because I have some fool’s notion that I will try every hot dog on their menu, and I will write about it… and I will not stop with Hot Diggity Dog, I will eat everything everywhere, and I will write about it all. Lofty goals, yes, but when one sets up a challenge, one follows through. To do a thing only 80% of the way is to not really do a thing at all… I was setting myself up for misery, but certainly not failure.

With that steadfast commitment, I reluctantly ordered the hot dog that would be as yet, my greatest challenge… here’s how it went.

Hot Diggity Dog - The Lancaster Dog

Sauerkraut, chunky applesauce

I have lived in Lancaster for most of my life, except for about a year or so in Philadelphia. I feel a very deep rooted connection to this city, this county and its people and culture. This hometown pride has manifested itself in many ways over the years, most recently with this very website. I feel that what this town has offered to me for so long, what it continues to offer, and the things it has yet to reveal, all need to be honored, for now though, I will focus on the food.

Lancaster has been a part of this country since before it was even officially a country. And guess what, it was the CAPITAL OF THE UNITED STATES for one day in 1777. Take that, other places that weren't! Did you also know that there are a lot of Amish people here? Yep, a whole bunch…

Hot Diggity Dog - The Memphis Dog

I don’t know that I would necessarily associate chili and coleslaw with Memphis. Maybe coleslaw (I am told that it’s a very southern thing to do – when in doubt, put coleslaw on it) barbecue to me might make more sense… However, it’s Hot Diggity Dog’s world, and we’re just eating in it…

Hot Diggity Dog - The Cincinnati dog (but not really)

Chili, cheddar cheese

I am pretty sure that I have never had a chili dog. As I have mentioned before, my hot dogs were usually kept on the plain jane side… hot dog, mustard, bun… maybe onions. Also, I really don’t like chili (mostly because of the beans) so why on earth would I put chili on a hot dog? Let me just take something that I like, and ruin it completely with something that I don’t like… yeah, great idea. Or I will just let Hot Diggity Dog do it, and I will write about it.

Hot Diggity Dog - The Los Angeles Dog

 

Diced cucumbers, avocado, tomato, ranch dressing, celery salt

California is a really crazy place. Did you know that marijuana is legal there? it is. Did you also know that Arnold Schwarzenegger is the GOVERNOR OF THE STATE? he is. There is a little town in California called Los Angeles,maybe you've heard of it, its where you go if you want to see famous people just walking around (I walk around too! they are just like you and me!), its also where you go if you want to live a care free "fun in the sun" lifestyle and just lay on the beach getting a tan every day for the rest of your life. Nevermind the fact that eventually the earth will swallow Los Angeles into the ocean, and pretty much everyone there is just trying to get you to read their screenplay... but, whatever... its warm there! Let's go! I'll drive!