The Park City Diner Will Never Open**

What does it take to open a restaurant? First you need a place to put the restaurant, then you need restaurant things (ovens, grills, seats, you know... stuff) and then maybe you need a competent staff to cook and serve the food. How long does this take? Is there a step that I am missing? Is there a reason that this process would take TWO YEARS?

The reason I ask is because the Park City Diner*, has remained an empty shell of promise for such an extended period of time (I think two years is low-balling it a little bit) that I am starting to think that its all just an elaborate prank and there was never really going to be a Park City Diner in the first place. HAHAHAHAH!!! get it?!?!? Oh man, Park City Diner people... you got me good.


I might be the only person who cares. I've looked into it. I've asked questions, and I've been flat out LIED TO for months, YEARS now. Its ridiculous. I am addressing this situation now, because apparently no one else will. If there is one thing I would like this blog to be remembered for when space aliens find it buried in the dirt 100 million years from now, is that Let's Eat Lancaster asked the tough questions and got things done (more likely though, the aliens will just think 'Wow, this guy really liked hot dogs').

Here now is my tale of hunger, anticipation, and madness. Please enjoy.




I work in the strip mall just across the street from the big stupid "real" mall.
The one with the Ollie's and the TJ Maxx... Its a pretty boring strip mall, and if you want to eat anything forget it. There's J&R's Pizza, where I don't go anymore (another story, another time - don't go there though, the new owner is a terrible human being) and there's Infinito's. Infinito's opened recently, and it's one of those $5 all you can eat pizza places (which are really doing their part to fight obesity in America, btw) but their pizza tastes like the kind of pizza you would expect from a place that serves all the pizza you can eat for FIVE DOLLARS. It's gross, and even in a pinch, or if its your only option AT ALL for food, it's still gross. I should just pack a lunch, I guess, but I don't have that kind of time. I wake up, usually late, and run out the door, with or without pants. So for lunch every day, my choices are ONLY junky pizza or jerky pizza. I choose junk. Yay lunch!

Everyday I gaze out the window to the mall across the street and I think of the "food court" and all of its choices (they have THREE Chinese places! that all taste the same!) and I just sigh. Why can't Total Vision ALSO sell sushi? Imagine my excitement when the vacant Men's Warehouse building one day put a sign up that said "Coming soon- Park City Diner & Coffee Shop"

A diner?!?! Diners are awesome! Breakfast anytime. Or a turkey dinner. Or whatever... there are options. TONS of options. And short order cooks. "This is gonna be great" I actually said that. Out loud. Two years ago.
I'm not sure what happened. There was progress, and then there wasn't. And then there was again. But now, maybe not.**
First, there was that sign. That was it. Nothing more for a few months, then, some extensive renovations started happening (added some windows, changed the facade) and a for real sign with big letters was put up. A few months later, some people were on the roof, installing ventilation.. "Any day now" I thought. And yet, nothing. Days, weeks, and months passed. The "coming soon" sign remained, a daily tease (which has become more of an insult, really) and an empty promise.

There may be a car or two parked outside from time to time, and occasionally I see a guy who looks like Otto from the Simpsons going in and out of one of the doors. But mostly, everything is hidden from view, and shrouded in mystery. What are they building in there? I've peeked through the windows (like a crazy person) on more than one occasion and I can see that they do have seating and a nice counter area***... things every diner should have. So clearly their intent is, in fact, to open a diner. The longer things go on with little to no progress the more I begin to wonder, though. What's the hold up? Did you run out of money? Is it all a front and there's a secret underground (like- really "under the ground") fight club type thing going on? Pagan sacrifice? The longer I have to speculate, the crazier the speculations will become.

I understand that very recently we, as a nation were plunged into a terrible recession/depression (what were we calling that?) and that times were, to say the least, tough. Times are still tough, but we are all getting through it. Maybe when you decided to open a diner (your second diner-you also opened the Airport Diner on 501) you didn't realize that America was on the brink of financial collapse, and that maybe the Men's Warehouse building wasn't really "up to code" to be a place suitable to serve food in, and maybe you ran into a few snafus along the way, but two years is too long. At this point you must either take down the white window blockers and put up some balloons announcing your grand opening day, or just throw in the towel and say, "sorry guys, we just can't do it" What you must not do is lie to me. To my face.

As I said, at various times in these past two years I would happen to see someone working outside of the building. Occasionally I would seize one of these opportunities to ask a question "Say there, kind sir, when is this place going to open?" and the response, each time, for two years, has always been the same: "Two weeks" Well okay then. Do you mean "two weeks AFTER HELL FREEZES OVER"? Because I think that's a more accurate timeframe. Maybe Otto and his team don't really know, and they are in the dark about everything that doesn't involve renovations, okay fair enough, I will go to the source...

A few months ago (January) I went to the Airport Diner for a late lunch/early dinner thing with my family. I had a lovely time. The menu was large (both in scope and in physical size) and the food was very tasty (as far as diner food goes, some of the best I've ever had). This only made me want the Park City Diner more. Being that both places share the same owner, and said owner (or one of them) was there, at the Airport Diner that day, I once again seized the opportunity to ask a question "Pardon me, fairest madame, but when is your other dining establishment, the Park City Diner going to open it's doors?" I was told, in a rather terse tone:  "Early February" (which just happened to be two weeks away, but whatever) and I said "Are you sure, because I've been waiting forever and have been told 'two weeks' for the past year or so now" to which she said "If I'm saying early February, I mean early February - we are going to start hiring this week, so we'll be open in early February" Well okay then. I felt like this had to be the truth. I wanted so badly to believe this to be the truth, however, in my gut (now full of delicious diner food), I knew that "early February" was just as vague a response as "two weeks" and I had once again been duped.

Early February was about 5 months ago. A lot has happened in the past 5 months (umm.. it snowed... what else happened?) and back in April (way past early February) MORE renovations started happening, this time to the rear of the building. Otto's team built an extension that looks like what may be a walk-in refrigerator or freezer. They probably need that. They probably needed that back in January also, around the time they were going to start hiring, and potentially be open for business two weeks later. Maybe they just forgot that they needed a place to keep stuff cold, and that the Men's Warehouse building didn't already have refrigeration (I know, weird right?).

Things take time, I know. Sometimes those things take longer than expected. Rome wasn't built in a day, but it was built, and that's ROME. You just need to put an open sign in the window and you're good to go. Maybe you've had a few setbacks, sure, I understand that. And I'm sure not opening is probably way more frustrating and stressful for you than it is for me. The last thing you need is for some guy to be all up in your business while you are just trying your hardest to open that business. I would just like to know, definitively, how much longer I should expect to wait**. Even if you were to put up a sign that simply said "2 MORE WEEKS!" it might ease some of my anxiety. At least I would know that you cared, and that your "two weeks" lie was now more of a public declaration.

I'm rooting for you. I want you to open, I want you to succeed. I want to be your best customer. I want breakfast anytime.

There is a show coming to the Food Network where people compete to open a  restaurant (FROM SCRATCH) within 24 hours. If you were on that show you would have lost. 700 times. Just saying.

Let's do this thing, guys. I'm hungry.

 

ugh.

*not to be confused with the original Park City Diner (which was located where the Lyndon Diner is now, and was TOTALLY AWESOME) 

**UPDATE-The Park City Diner FINALLY opened on Wednesday, August 18, 2010 - 46 days after this article was written. 22 months after the first "Opening Soon" signs were put up.